A Moment in Time...

March 17, 2010


This coming July 28th, my family will be celebrating my Mom's 90th birthday. That's right. She will be 90 years old....

Because of recent issues concerning her health, Dave and I  had the honor of having my Mom live with us for a year and a half. During her stay , we shared a bond that can never be broken... It went by in a flash, yet the experience will last a lifetime...

Recently she moved back to her own home, and is now living there with my sister Cherie. I do miss her, however  Dave and I always knew that once
Mom had recuperated, she would more than likely want to move back there ...

After looking back on the past year and a half, I realize that the length of time Mom spent with us, was just a moment in time for her...

Life is ever changing...

The following is an entry from my personal journal...


" I am so blessed that I have a treasure chest full of memories that I share with my Mother. No one can take that away from me. I love our long conversations and deep talks,' tea time' and scrabble games, crossword puzzles, and yes, even the "heated discussions' that we have at times !

Ever since I was a tiny girl I felt a special closeness to my Mom...(maybe because I was the youngest).

I  shudder each time I think of that horrible experience when she suddenly became so sick.  In April of 2008, Mom was brought to the emergency ward at a local hospital in Nashua, and was diagnosed as having an aortic aneurysm that was leaking. Surgery was imminent. The doctors told us that because of her age, and the frail state she was in, it was unlikely that she would survive the surgery. We were all in shock ...

After being ambulanced to Boston Brigham Women's Hospital, more tests were taken at the request of my brother. Miraculously they discovered that the aneurysm was not leaking after all ... surgery was not necessary. Being the strong woman that she is, Mom did pull through, but not without side effects of the medication that was administered.(morphine!) She was completely drained, both physically and emotionally. After a brief hospital stay in ICU, it was decided that it would be best for all concerned that she stay with Dave and I at our home  in Wilmington, until she had fully recovered.

When she first came home from the hospital, Mom was very weak. She couldn't even sit up on her own, never mind walk.  Dave and I  decided it was best that I sleep in the same bed with her just in case she needed me...this lasted for  for several weeks...

Unable to sleep, I would lay there, staring at her, watching her breathe...she was so frail ...so still... so silent...this was very foreign to me... seeing my Mother, the  lady that I have always known to be strong and resilient, looking  so tiny and helpless...

Lying there in the quiet of the night, my mind would be flooded with memories of the past....

It brought me back to to a moment in time after Papa's passing...

I would visit Mom weekly, and spend  a few nights with at her. She and I would be so excited, just like two little girls at a sleepover.I always looked forward to our time spent together. Most of the time we would stay in, order take-out, and just  chill while watching her recorded soaps on the VCR ...

The best part of the sleepover was when we would have our midnight snacks and stay up 'til the wee hours of the morning, gossiping, giggling and laughing so hard that Jason and Tracy could often hear us through the floorboards in their bedroom above...

She would tell me stories of her childhood, so happy and carefree..she would sing old songs that her Oma used to sing to her..she would tell me about her siblings and how they used to bicker and fight ...but she pointed out that she was always, always close to her baby brother Herman (Oom Boet)...her stories of how she and Papa met... the way he was so jealous of anyone that looked at her... the unconditional love that they shared...their adventures as a young couple...surviving through the wars...relocating their young family to two different continents... bringing up 5 children in a foreign land.. the family vacations...how proud she was of Papa...how proud she is of all her children...how she loves her grandchildren and great grandchildren...

What I most remember of those late night conversations, is how Mom's eyes would light up when she conversed with me...she was always so happy.. so animated... so full of life...

But seeing her lying next to me... this tiny slip of a woman, barely having the strength to lift her head up for a drink of water...never mind having a lively conversation with me...I felt so lost...

I desperately wanted to hear her sing just one more song.. tell me one more story... share one more giggle...

I prayed to God to let her become strong and independent....to let me have more of those moments with her... I would do whatever it took to help her become that, no matter how long it takes - days...months...years...

Thankfully He listened, and answered my prayers.

Now, after some time has passed, she is once again a strong, healthy ,and independent woman. Mom is still living with Dave and I...However, we both know the day will come when she will want to return to her home. The home that Mike and Pa built together years ago. Her  very own home, where Pa is now resting.

That will be a bittersweet moment for me...

Happy that she is strong and healthy. Sad that she she will be gone from our everyday lives.

Isn't that what love is ?...Being there when you are needed, stepping back when they are ready to spread their wings.

I will miss my Mom, and so will Dave, but it is comforting to know that we have our memories to draw from..something that we will keep with us forever... memories of that moment in time..."

"We do not remember days...

we remember moments."

                                                                 ~Cesare Pavese