My Sentinels

January 2010

sen·ti·nel : a person, such as a sentry, assigned to protect and keep guard


I have always been a private person. When I was younger, I  was made to believe that I was painfully shy. However, as I became older and understood life a little bit better, I realized that it wasn't shyness that I suffered, it was just that I enjoyed my privacy.

When Dave and I got the horrific news that I had stage 4 breast cancer, one thing that came to mind was,

" Who do we tell? "

Do we want to share this with everyone we know, or do we want to keep it private, and just tell a few close family members and friends? It was a no brainer for me. I wanted my privacy. Dave agreed.

I feel so fortunate to have a very small, very close knit group of family and friends.These are the people that I trust my life with.The people that we knew we could trust when we discovered that I had this hideous disease.We knew that they would jump on board as soon as we shared the news and explained  that we decided not to take the conventional route ...We knew that they would respect our privacy and would guard and protect our secret.

These people are my sentinels.

They are so loving and supportive, never questioning our decision of foregoing conventional treatments, but  are always, always, cheering me on.They comfort me when I  am down...joke and laugh with me when I am up. Cried when I received the bad news...celebrated when I received the good.

They protect me when I need protection...Set me straight when I need to be straightened out...

They are not with me physically every single hour of the day, but I feel their presence constantly. Because of them, I never feel lonely. Because of them, life has been somewhat normal. Because of them, I am able to laugh. Because of them, I sometimes forget that I have cancer. Because of them, I am fearless. Because of them I am alive...

Yes, they are my sentinels.

There is no need to announce them. They know who they are.

I just hope that they know how much they mean to me... how much I appreciate everything they have done. How I love them with all of my heart, and that I will be forever indebted to them...

And last but not least, I want them to know that if ever need be, I am willing to be their sentinel too.